All Aboard the Hype Machine

With the gallant euphoria that follows a small lottery win, England players crumbled to the turf after their heady victory over Australia. The old enemy, in rugby terms at least, vanquished. The unknown position of under-dog suited the English, who found some of that plucky Blighty resolve and come good when it mattered.

Penalty after penalty slotted home and the score ticked like a poorly wound clock just pegging ahead. It was a slow deliberate battering of the flashy, technical Aussie outfit and now, from seemingly nowhere, England are in the Final Four.

This being a place that may has well have been on Jupiter when England trudged off the pitch thoruoughly outplayed by the Springboks in Paris. Now, there is no lamenting the 36-0 scoreline that blazed so brightly in the St. Denis sky only a short time before. That is in the past.

Forgive me if I don't get too carried away with the future.

France are an entirely different prospect. Written off, ridiculed and resigned to the dustbin as soon as Ignacio Corletto decided to piss wildly on Nicholas Sarkozy's bonfire on the opening night of the tournament.

Our Gallic cousins regrouped, reformed and readdressed (a lot of 're's) and tinkered manically. They tightened the second row, put faith in the base of the scrum unit and put an unknown at the central reservation - with fly-half being the position that has blighted England's campaign. We couldn't even manage to see of the US convincingly without Superhero Jonny and the French keep famously tempremental numero dix Freddie Michalak in reserve...aren't they lucky?

What happened when they clambered battered and bruised out of the most turbulent group of the whole competition? They ended up in Cardiff, in their own bloody competition the hosts had to leave the country to proceed. And if that wasn't enough they met with the favourites in full flow and...the French prevailed. Questionable forward pass aside, the French 'turned up' as they so famously don't...ask any rugby commentator for clarification of 'which France will turn up'/'blowing hot and cold'/ cliche ad naseum.

England's victory was a drop in the ocean compared to the French victory. They tackled well, attacked smartly and defended as if plugging holes in a sinking ship. England lack the verve to penetrate such a resolute line, despite Sheridan's mercurial form the scrum will be evenly contested and Moody & co will get used to prospect of turning up to rucks to be greeted by the groggy smiles of the Betsen, Dusatouir and Bonnaire already stealing ball.

In fairness, England have peaked. France have turned the tournament on its head and now seem destined to make a go of it. Still, at least 'Dad's Army' aren't drowning their sorrows like those in Auckland/Sydney/Dublin/Cardiff just yet.