Is Amdy Faye Worth Going to Prison For?

The answer to that is a resounding no.

But that seems to be the likely outcome for some of those embroiled in the case at the centre of the Lord Stevens led crackdown on supposed bung-givers and receivers.

In fairness, I am surprised that Harry Redknapp hasn't been chased down the street by whistle-blowing coppers yet. The jowel-mouthed, Pompy boss has the air of a used-car-salesman about him and surely there can be no better footballing example of a cut-and-shut than the Senegalese wonder-bint that is Amdy 'all-arms-and-legs' Faye.

As a Charlton fan it has been an alarming sight to see a player simultaenously attack/defend/fall over/get sent off in the space of a milli-second...what a shame he was shipped out to Ibrox.

The other boss rumoured to be on the brink of indictment, dating back to the Panaroma/Bond tango, was Big Sam.

However, Sam is already locked in a striped jumpsuit on Tyneside and with his recent run of form maybe a stay at Her Majesty's Pleasure would be a better fate than being fed to Gallowgate End contingent.


Seemingly the blight of anyone's career is being linked with the England job. Front-runner Big Phil Scolari (another 'Big', compensating?) knocked ten shades of shit out of an opposing player in qualifying and blamed his 'fiery temper' on the whole event. Suddenly the man to revitalize English football looked like a Dad getting over zealous during a Sunday morning 11-a-side tournament.


Note Martin O'Neill who has refuted all interest from the beleagured FA and alas Aston Villa are ascending to the heady heights of Euro football even with Marlon Harewood leading their line. The glory days of Ray Houghton and Steve Staunton taking on the might of Inter Milan could come again.


At this rate expect Fabio Capello to be accosted for ruffing up a pensioner in the coming weeks. I am sure I made that joke about Rafa Benitez before...and it wasn't funny then...it was hilarious!

How You Know When You Are Old

There are very simple markers that alert you to the fact that you are indeed...aging. Now this isn't one of those tired rants about "blah, blah I'm out of touch" or "blah, blah isn't modern music cock?" Its a simple checklist so you can notice when you come to the stage of staring down the autumn of your years from the vatange point of your early 20s. I never said it was comprehensive but here are some of the things to look out for.


Question - Do you ever refer to someone younger than you as a 'youth'?


Answer - If so, then sadly you are old by definition.


Help - Pronounce it 'yuf' and suddenly you go from old-fogey to LDN, glow-sticking waving modern new romatic wonderkid. Or you still get a clip round your ear from your mum for not talking properly.



Question - Do you complain that music in clubs is too loud?


Answer - If so, then you are losing your hearing and...sadly...you're going to be the brand new driver of a zimmer frame my friend.


Help - Before anyone cottons on that your wee earbuds can't handle the music, shout 'it needs to be louder'. Aha a clever charade and suddenly everybody is your best friend and will buy you a hot mug o...I mean a sambucca...with tabasco in it...on fire...off your mate's head. Yeah, now you're on fire...excuse me while I gag on the reflex to say 'quite lidderally' in my best local DJ voice.



These are two examples of just how easy it is to age, it's natural look at Geri Halliwell, but you can't stand at the water's edge and shout: 'why don't you pis...oh my shoes are wet'.