There are very simple markers that alert you to the fact that you are indeed...aging. Now this isn't one of those tired rants about "blah, blah I'm out of touch" or "blah, blah isn't modern music cock?" Its a simple checklist so you can notice when you come to the stage of staring down the autumn of your years from the vatange point of your early 20s. I never said it was comprehensive but here are some of the things to look out for.
Question - Do you ever refer to someone younger than you as a 'youth'?
Answer - If so, then sadly you are old by definition.
Help - Pronounce it 'yuf' and suddenly you go from old-fogey to LDN, glow-sticking waving modern new romatic wonderkid. Or you still get a clip round your ear from your mum for not talking properly.
Question - Do you complain that music in clubs is too loud?
Answer - If so, then you are losing your hearing and...sadly...you're going to be the brand new driver of a zimmer frame my friend.
Help - Before anyone cottons on that your wee earbuds can't handle the music, shout 'it needs to be louder'. Aha a clever charade and suddenly everybody is your best friend and will buy you a hot mug o...I mean a sambucca...with tabasco in it...on fire...off your mate's head. Yeah, now you're on fire...excuse me while I gag on the reflex to say 'quite lidderally' in my best local DJ voice.
These are two examples of just how easy it is to age, it's natural look at Geri Halliwell, but you can't stand at the water's edge and shout: 'why don't you pis...oh my shoes are wet'.
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